A journey to fatherhood

There’s no words to describe that feeling when it finally sinks in that you’re going to be a dad.
Believe me. I’ve been dealing with this for the last 37 weeks.
It’s a roller coaster of emotions. You’re nervous, anxious, you doubt, but most importantly the emotions always come back full circle to happiness.
You stand there, appointment after appointment, as the ultrasound nurse gives you glimpses at your baby. Each time, your baby looks more and more like a tiny person. Each time, however, the smile that freezes on your face is the same.
It’s hard to explain, but I’ll give it a go. I know that I’m not the first person to have a baby, but this is my first. We’re having a little girl that we’re going to call Eliza Cait.
Our originial due date was set for February 2, but it’s looking like we’ll induce on January 28 unless my wife Erin goes into labor before then.
This road that has led to this was long and winding for me as I’m sure it is for most fathers.
From the moment that the two purple lines appeared on the “stick” to now was a rush of adrenaline.
We did the whole jumping up and down, screaming thing. We did the parent and grandparent tours announcing the little one that was coming. My mom hasn’t stopped smiling yet and I’m starting to think that her excitement has passed ours. But that’s okay because she’s my mom.
Then there were those painstaking weeks before the ultrasound that would tell us what sex our baby was. I got to say that those weeks were the longest of the pregnancy. Those weeks were spent with pen, paper, baby name books and endless searches through family trees and Internet databases to find the perfect names for a boy or a girl.
I think we might have looked at a million names. We had an idea of what we were looking for. We wanted something southern, yet meaningful.
As for the whole family name thing, I hope you will allow me to get on my soapbox for a second. There’s this movement in baby naming circles that seems to be moving everyone towards family names.
While I understand the whole family-name concept, not all names have to be taken from your family tree. Everyone asks if our names are family names and I always want to ask everyone if it really matters.
To me, it doesn’t, but I digress. In the end we chose Camden Slade for a boy and Eliza Caitlyn for a girl. We felt we were armed with two great names for the ultrasound. We have since changed the boy’s name to Katon Slade. Slade, however, is a family name on Erin’s side. In case you’re wondering, Eliza came from the play “Pygmalion” (or “My Fair Lady” for those that just watch the movies). Eliza Doolittle is one of my favorite characters from plays. Caitlyn was chosen to celebrate my wife’s Irish-Scottish background.
When the ultrasound technician finally told us that we were having a little girl, we were ecstatic. The cute dresses and a myriad of pink presents started pouring in. Suddenly my masculine world became a light shade of pink.
The rest of the weeks have been all downhill. We’ve been surrounded by love from our parents. We’ve begun construction on our house. We’ve turned our dogs bedroom into a nursery. They’re not too happy, but I’m sure you can imagine that. They’ll have their own bedroom soon enough. They’re still our babies too. They’re extremely happy about their new “sissy” coming into the world.
And now with all that said, we’re less than two weeks away from Eliza Cait coming into the world.
I thought I’d be more nervous. Of course I probably will be in the few days leading up to January 28.
But for now, I’m just happy knowing that I’m about to be a father. I don’t know how good of one I’ll be, but I’m going to give it everything I’ve got. I’m going to love my daughter more than life itself. I haven’t even touched her tiny hands yet, but I know already that I’ll be wrapped around her tiny finger.
I’m the happiest man in the world right now because I’m going to be a father and I’d like to take you on that journey.
My only hope now is that Eliza Cait will look just like her beautiful mommy.